Jettison.

This Livejournal thing has run it's course for me.

Actually, it ran it's course a few months back but I kept on putting my rubbish on here and sifting through everyone else's rubbish...

This thing has felt like something to be conquered, something to be ignored, something that matters and something that isn't worth the cache it's taking up.

I have found that it took more effort to not take this seriously, than it did to actually take it seriously.


I could delete it; I could probably keep using it too.


I could keep it for posting random videos that crack me up.

But I would rather just walk away from it. Change the password to random key strokes (without looking). Let it drift forever* amongst the junk heap that is the internet.



Disengage.



In my head this is going to be like a 90's sci-fi movie where a small ship or part of a ship has to be sacrificed, to save the rest of the ship.

So this is the bit where everyone gathers 'round the window and watch it disengage and drift away.






I will keep in touch with all the real-life people on here, and I will particularly miss bullneck's and riotclitshave's posts.


I should thank ohbrett for getting me onto this all those years ago. I'm still working out what percentage of my life has been wasted here and what has been worthwhile, but I say thank you nonetheless.



I've started a blog elsewhere; a proper one.

Maybe one day someone will actually want to read it... We'll see I'll see.

For now though I'm keeping it to myself.


I'm on Facebook, but only to keep in touch with real-life people who I always tend to neglect anyway. It's like an extension of their phone numbers being in my phone.



For the record: ( TIME CAPSULE )




x MDL

Elbow played at The Tivoli tonight;

I love 'em. I think they're great.

They're like a more human-like version of Doves, only with more sentimental songs.


Guy Garvey (the lead singer) is such a gentleman's gentleman.



He's a sweetheart, and he's totally got that thing when someone you don't consider to be particularly good looking, is sexy.

Plus there's the beard and the chin and don't get me started on the accent.....



I saw The Kills last night and that was fun too, but Elbow are the bees knees.

I wish more people were into 'em. Or at least, someone I know.



I wish Paul was with me tonight, and I wish I was taller than him so I could stand behind him an be one of those people that put their arms around their partner and just sways non-stop.

Ha!... Freakish crowd (both nights). There's something about curly hair on men that makes me automatically think they're ugly as all get-out. I'd shave my head if I had tight curly ringlets ala Justin Timberlake.



Obviously it's late and I'm talking shit; and I'll be damned if I'm going to work tomorrow.

The best thing about the Watchmen movie, was Patrick Wilson's regular glasses.

And also it was good to see Jackie Earle Haley not playing a paedophile... Though in my mind he'll always be just that because of Little Children.

Just as James Spader will always be a sadistic bastard after his role in Secretary.

I think Tim Burton is filming his interpretation of "Sleeping Beauty" in our lounge room...

Either that or Luke's friend Karen slept on the floor last night! D:

Earlier today I had a moment that could best be described by that feeling on the train when you're about to fall asleep but then you jerk back up slightly more awake than usual, slightly more aware than usual...

Only instead of nodding off on the train it's like I nodded off on my life, then suddenly I realised that things do happen and I sat up from my slouch to pay attention.


Today, my eldest sister got married. It was just a low-key thing, and I thought it'd be rubbish but it turned out to be quite nice. Like a scaled down event; [INSERT APPROPRIATE COMPARISON HERE]

It occurred to me through all the speeches and the ceremony etc. that it was in fact happening, and my sister was no longer the sister that used to live at home with us in North Queensland.

She probably doesn't have giggling friends over for sleep-overs, listening to INXS... Probably hasn't for some time;


Pretty much all the women in the room were crying, and I was just sitting there in amazement.

Then I whispered to my mum "What's that bag thing tied to her wrist?"; and my mum responded "She's got Puss and Ivan in there".

That's when my throat filled up and I had to concentrate to will myself out of crying.


Ivan was my grandfather who passed away last September. Puss was my sister's cat for something like 15 years.

I thought she meant ashes or something, but it turns out it was just two little silver locket thingys with photos in each...


She showed them to me at dinner, and again I had to look straight ahead and inform my body that we were not going to be crying just now.



Other stuff happened and new people were met; but I completely had this moment of clarity about my life and I felt more alive and happier than I have been since Paul has been away.



I sat at dinner opposite my mum, and I got this sickening urge to tell her that I'm going to University next year to study film* and all I could think about was my "Coming out" moment.

In the end I decided not to tell her, because I didn't want anyone else's input (and she'd had about three glasses of something dark and red and expensive).



My brother offered me a lift home, but I caught the bus instead.

The ride home was definitely a "Born Slippy" moment for me... But walking back up the stairs and into this place, slouching back onto this "temporary"/"in between chairs" stool makes me feel undone.

Plus it reminded me of that t-shirt with the counter evolution of man, going from an ape to a man to a man at a computer...




And here I am: my back hurting, my residential future uncertain, my hair thinning by the hour, my man -19hrs away, my flights still not confirmed... And I'm so tired I feel like walking through a stand-alone door that will disappear once I walk through and close it behind me.





But instead, I'm going to bed.